Disgustipated

I wish to Gods someone would make up my mind. For months, my adopted mom ahs been saying..come here come here…and now, as of yesterday..she said..you shouldn’t come here…..*silent scream* WTF????  “You are in the unique position of having two mothers and you need to go to Texas and get to know the other one” I am sitting on the stairs, saying to myself “Translation: you don’t want me there” and as if she was in my mind..”It’s not that i don’t want you here” YEAH! RIGHT! okay..wtf ever…. My friends have made me an offer..I am seriously(cereally) considering…I mean seriously..If I am gonna be tossed from relative to realtive..I would rather go back to my Gypsy family…Jeez….My daughter is almost he age where she can choose what she wants to do…stay with my mom or come traveling with me…si..she is getting that old.. she will be 16 in january..so..yeah…okay enough babbling from me..

later yall

Cleaning up the Book of Shadows

Cleaning it up a bit, so I can better find stuff in it. Makes sense right?

I didn’t realize how much stuff I have accumulated over the last few years in it, but then my soul sister Lady Aramia has been working on it with me, as she is my right hand priestess. I am still sick, but I am surviving. I will be glad to hit the freedom trail, so that my homeopathasist can start infusing me with garlic again and getting my immune system back up to where he had it at one point. He had me to where I was not getting sick hardly at all..but because I have fallen out of the pattern of whatever it was that he was doing to me, medically speaking, I have been getting sick left and right again..

Sometimes I think he had a bit of witchcraft in with those mixtures to make me well..;)  knowing him, I wouldn’t doubt it, as he is a good witch

but anyway, whilst I wait for the sinus meds to kick in, I am writing this piece, and listening to the Witches Song by Juliana Hatfield, remembering all the good times of the past and reflecting on the good times to come. It will soon be the Witches New Year, I hope everyone is ready for some killer celebrations in the year to come!

Peace, Love, and Coffee!!!

Katie-girl

well..good news

I still have my job…

got pneumonia again

so therefore, I have no more job, but that’s okay cuz hopefully things are headed another direction soon…

I have been in bed all day, with a temperature ranging from 99 to 102…not fun. Right now the letters are swimming on the screen…….so…..I am gonna go.

later yall

A Work In Progress

So, i had a long talk with the person I like to refer to as my life coach. We discussed my progress over the last year, and how proud I am that I have started to accept responsibility for my own actions. He praised me on several things and helped me to see sides of things I hadn’t yet investigated, thoroughly. I was very appreciative for the chat. I felt so much better afterwards, too.

I have discovered after much soul searching, that things aren’t as bad as they were a year ago, nor are they damaged beyond repair. I just need to slow down and take in the big picture, not shut the window when I think the problem is too big for me to deal with. I have, in the past, ran screaming from my problems, because I was too afraid to face them. I know that no one but me can fix them, and all the advice in the world is going to help, if I am unwilling to work on the issues I face.

More or less, I need to take a deep breath, open my eyes wide, swallow my pride, and not run.

I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves and cares about me, and I need to accept the fact that I deserve to be loved….something I am still working on.

I am a work in progress.

Back out of the Broom closet at last!!

So, in case you haven’t figured it out, I am finally, back out of the broom closet. I have taken a sabbatical from paganism/Wicca because of all the plastic Pagans..but recently I have realized one thing…WHY PUNISH MYSELF???? I was happy being a Pagan..I am UNHAPPY being Christian, so therefore, I am not going to pose anymore. I will be dusting off my BOS, and filling it with all the goodies that belong in it! So, ladies, and some of you gentlemen…send your spells/chants, etc this way! I have some catching up to do!!!

so in other words, yes, I have recovered from the blow to the head!

Blessed Be!

Tao of Pooh

innie the Pooh has a certain way about him, a way of doing things which has made him the world’s most beloved bear. And Pooh’s Way, as Benjamin Hoff brilliantly demonstrates, seems strangely close to the ancient Chinese principles of Taoism. The ‘Tao of Pooh’ explains Taoism by Winnie the Pooh and explaines Winnie the Pooh by Taoism. It makes you understand what A.A. Milne probably meant when he said he didn’t write the Pooh-books for children in the first place.    Over the centuries Taoism classic teachings were developed and divided into philosophical, monastic, and folk religious forms. All of these could be included under the general heading of Taoism. But the basic Taoism is simply a particular way of appreciating, learning from, and working with whatever happens in everyday life. From the Taoist point of view, the natural result of this harmonious way of living is happiness.    One of the basic principles of Taoism is P’U, the Uncarved Block. The essence of the Uncarved Block is that things in their original simplicity contain their own natural power, power that is easily spoiled and lost when that simplicity is changed. This principle applies not only to things, but to people as well. Or Bears. Which brings us to Pooh, the very Epitome of the Uncarved Block. When you discard arrogance, complexity, and a few, other things that get in the way, sooner or later you will discover that simple, childlike, and mysterious secret known to those of the Uncarved Block: Life is Fun. Along with that comes the ability to do things spontaneously and have them work, odd as that may appear to others at times. As Piglet put it in ‘Winnie-the-Pooh’, “Pooh hasn’t much Brain, but he never comes to any harm. He does silly things and they turn out right.”    Owl instead, is the opposite of Pooh, the Knowledge for the sake of Appearing Wise, the one who studies Knowledge for the sake of Knowledge, and who keeps what he learns to himself or to his own small group, rather than working for the enlightenment of others. That way, the scholars can appear Superior, and will not likely be suspected of Not Knowing Something. After all, from the scholarly point of view, it’s practically a crime not to know everything. But sometimes the knowledge of the scholar is a bit hard to understand because it doesn’t seem to match up with our own experience of things. Isn’t the knowledge that comes from experience more valuable than the knowledge that doesn’t?    While Owl’s little routine is that of Knowledge for the sake of Appearing Wise, Eeyore’s is that of Knowledge for the sake of Complaining About Something and Rabbit’s is that of Knowledge of Being Clever. As anyone who doesn’t have it can see, the Eeyore Attitude gets in the way of things like wisdom and happiness, and pretty much prevents any sort of real Accomplishment in life. Cleverness, after all, has its limitations. Its mechanical judgements and clever remarks tend to prove inaccurate with passing time, because it doesn’t look very deeply into things to begin with. The thing that makes someone truly different -unique, in fact- is something that Cleverness cannot really understand.     “A fish can’t whistle and neither can I.” There’s nothing wrong with not being able to whistle, especially if you’re a fish. But there can be lots of things wrong with blindly trying to do what you aren’t designed for. Unfortunately, some people aren’t so wise, and end up causing big trouble for themselves and others. The wise know their limitations; the foolish do not. To demonstrate what we mean, we can think of no one better than Tigger, who doesn’t know his limitations (’Tiggers can do everything’), which brings him in lots of trouble. Piglet instead knows his limitations and that’s what makes him sometimes more brave than you would expect from such a small animal. So, the first thing we need to do is recognize and trust our own Inner Nature, and not lose sight of it. Inside the Bouncy Tigger is the Rescuer who knows the Way, and in each of us is something Special, and that we need to keep: “Tigger is all right really,” said Piglet lazily. “Of course he is,” said Christopher Robin. “Everybody is really,” said Pooh. “That’s what I think,” said Pooh. “But I don’t suppose I’m right,” he said. “Of course you are,” said Christopher Robin. This text is taken from ‘The Tao of Pooh’ by Benjamin Hoff, published by Mandarin Paperbacks. Also published by Mandarin Paperbacks and written by Benjamin Hoff; ‘The Te of Piglet’.

so, sudden changes really bite

I was fie and dandy for most of the day, and now within the last hour I have turned into a sick-to-my-stomch-needs-to-throw-up individual…

Katie-girl is very very sick, Brooke. I no feels good….So I think I am going to bed early….

*hugs to all*

*sigh*

So, here I sit, not wanting anything more than to go to Illinois, but I lack the $199 to do so….actually I don’t even know that it is that much. I just want to go home damn it! I am so so tired of this place, I just want to see my kids and my parents. Is that too much to ask? I mean really. My mom WANTS me home for a change, and now that she wants me home, I can’t get home, cuz Robert has said he won’t pay for it, and my mom cant afford it, and NO ONE will hire me, so I am fucked..again…as per usual…doesn’t it just figure?

I run hither and yon for 10 years, at everyones beck and call..and suddenly..NO ONE can help. Of course not…this is always the way of it. Always.

Fading into the background

I have decided I might fade into the woodwork for a small time. I need some quiet time, to sort out emotions and whatnot. NO nothing is wrong with Robert and I, we are as much in love today as we were a year ago I don’t know what I would do without my warm arms around me. I still love to kiss him, I still love to hug him, I still sigh in his presence with a smile. I am happy. My only problem, is that I cannot find work. Which ergo makes me unhappy again. I want to go to my mom’s so that I may work, but he is afraid that when I leave, I will call him and say, GO TO HELL..which simply is not the case. I love him far too much to do that. He really needs to wake up and realize that too..

Perhaps I don’t tell him enough. Or maybe it is my hot/cold bi-polar episodes, that make him feel that i do not love him. I don’t know, but between me, you, and the fence post…I do, with all my heart. He is THE one..now if I could just get it concrete, but jackass in Norfolk is drag-assing about with the divorce, knowing I do not have the money to take action in the fashion I would like. ahh well This too shall pass.

for now…this will suffice

Katherine Jennings